Can We Love This Way? by Joy Modesty
Can We Love This Way? : Joy Modesty
A True Poetic Novel by Joy Modesty
Part One !
Shailja : The Fragrance of Love
she has left the world anonymously.
He went to her grave in shock
and offered red roses mournfully.
The graveyard was deserted and silent,
all there were graves and graves only.
He looked at them thinking nothing,
and returned to his car lifeless, lonely.
He was driving his car and the scenes
of her life came alive into his eyes.
He who was the 'second man; of her life,
felt that it was raining out very nice.
He switched on the wipers of his car,
but alas! it was not raining outside.
His eyes were full of tears, with an
unbearable grief, it was raining inside.
She was the woman in blue umbrella for him,
and he was the second man for her.
She left this world after her second marriage,
the man was proved 'a good husband' for her.
Her forefathers were in the service of divine,
they lived in the church yard out of shine.
She born, grew, bloomed there fine, one day
she became a lady of beauty and shine. 06
When she was young, there was someone,
who looked, liked and had fun with her.
Morning was coming and the sun was setting,
the days were passing happily for her.
She had cattle, she had foolish battle,
when he was daily coming to get milk from her.
Sometime he touched her milky cheeks,
then she liked this touch, and he smiled on her.
Was it true love or mere early age attraction?
she thought and remembered it then and now.
But that time it was a must practice for her,
and future separation was not visible any how.
One day he left that place and went away,
she remembered those painful days.
She came to know, he had gone for better life,
but it's life, and this kind of things have ways.
As the sun sets and again comes in morning,
after some days,a new chapter began.
She got school education, and had friends,
and now her higher study also began.
The college was in the center of the town,
where she had many girls as her friend.
Nobody knew what was lied in the future,
and there she had to begin a new trend.
After this in the life, she met with many,
with some of them she came close too.
She traveled many places with them,
many advances to her and she too. 13
One of her friend was living in a hostel,
where she was visiting again and again.
Sometime they engaged there secretly,
it was an intercourse in the room again.
Till now she was bloomed like a flower,
a flower whose fragrance was spreading.
She changed the friends but not herself,
it was her fate that they were succeeding.
Then came a lusty lad in her life,
here she wanted to be her wife.
He was her family close and her too,
here she thought, it was the wished life.
By this or that pretense, they were meeting,
they were trying to get loneliness now.
There were lot of chances for this and,
she was also trying to do it anyhow.
Sometime she was going to his house,
sometime he was eagerly coming to her.
Once they got intimate, there was a cyclone,
it never knew to stop and closure.
In one of such noon, she went to
meet him, at home, he was alone.
His house was in a company campus, and
there nobody could see, what was going on.
He was just waiting there for her,
she get in and closed the door out.
They embraced each other and hold tightly,
and became mad in love, kissed out and out. 20
Then they did what they had to do,
It was their routine and daily enjoyment.
She was very happy, life was shining,
nothing was special then this employment.
But it proved a dream which had to over,
the boy found someone else after a pause.
Then he started avoiding her and started,
making pretensions and telling no cause.
After sometimes she came to know that
he got a job and moved out somewhere.
He was married to another solid body,
and then he never turned to her here.
It was a moment of regret to her,
she knew how selfish and mean he was.
It took a long time to console herself,
finally she understood over the dream was.
Her heart was full of pain and sorrow,
nothing was feeling good to her.
She tried to engage herself in some work,
but this break was tremendous to her.
After sometime, someone new entered
in her life but she was not in a good mood.
This time, for her, believing on somebody
was like wandering in a thick wood.
She started concentrating on her
day to day work and looking after her mother.
All her sisters were left for their own house,
and left her alone, a girl without father. 27
She started going to learn painting,
in a new institute, just on a walking distance.
Now she was a mature person for all
worldly things and for every resistance.
Her teacher who was younger than her,
was very sober and mannered man.
Initially she was not attracted to him,
even he also not noticed her too much then.
But she liked the way of his teaching,
and she was learning the art sincerely.
Nature, lover, romance, modern art, on
canvas, everything was expressed purely.
because her classmates had gone to leave.
In one of such spring evening, he arrived
at her home when she was just out to leave.
at her home when she was just out to leave.
She was surprised and excited,
to see him there at her home in the moon.
But she was happy, she welcomed him,
he was looking handsome like the moon.
He requested her to help him,
in his official work of day to day.
She agreed with hesitation and told him
that she will come to him next of the day.
The painting workshop was on the top of
a house from where he could see her coming.
She was wearing colorful traditional outfits,
holding an umbrella blue and coming. 34
Both were happy in each other's company,
and daily sharing their so many things.
She was helping him in his office and
to help her, he was doing several things.
On such a day, while working together,
he carelessly touched her beautiful belly.
She didn't care it also but was excited,
they were coming close to each other daily.
Both came so close that they began to tell
too many things about their life's past.
They were kept on talking for long hours.
her sorrow of past was gone at last.
One day, it was raining heavily and he was
thinking, she would come or not today?
But she came, fully wet in spite of her umbrella,
he was pleased and excited to see her that day.
But he worried to see her in this condition,
he took her inside in worrying manner.
He offered her a towel and she after drying
herself returned it in a charming manner.
Here he saw her in the body sticked clothes,
and forgot everything, she was full of youth.
Their eyes met and there was a spark, they
came very close and felt each other's youth.
She wrapped off her whole body and outfit,
except the upper and lower inner.
With fair color body, bloomed breasts,
he saw her, she had a lusty figure. 41
Her belly, her thighs, her hips, her neck,
her lips and her whole was such a piece rare.
He covered her with a warm shawl, and
between both, a fire was burning there.
Before covering her, he had seen her
extremely attractive figure and shining.
There was a burning silence between both,
after a few minutes, both came to the dining.
He offered her a hot coffee and she felt
how gentle this man was to her here.
Both went to the gallery and started
watching the drops of rain falling there.
After a few hours when it stopped raining,
she put on her clothes and went home.
It was so difficult for both to say goodbye,
and keeping each other at their own dome.
That was an unforgettable evening and
the days were so full of excitement.
Both of them like to live close to each other
and kept hold this precious time permanent.
Next day when she she came, she was in
full of vigor and doing everything perfect.
But he was feeling shy and trying not to see
in her eyes and doing the thing with an effect.
In such a beautiful evening of a holiday,
they both went to theater just for a company.
While working and talking with each other,
they felt like playing a sweet symphony. 48
During this, he gave her so many gifts and
diaries in which she wrote so many poems.
The past was sorrowful but the present was like
writing so many beautiful and romantic poems.
Whenever she came to him, at place,
he embraced her gently and made love.
In his company she was very happy and
felt herself like a princes and a dove.
In one of such evening, she called him at
her home to have a dinner and a stay.
He reached, she was in a beautiful gown
and waiting for him, something to say.
She called him in and kissed impatiently
everywhere and both then get embraced.
There was nobody at her home and the
evening was so romantic and fenced.
Both went to inner room, sat on a bed,
and there was a stormy silence outside.
They were now in each other's arm tightly,
they made love, the time was on their side.
She requested him to stay at her home at night,
but he could hardly made her agree to leave him.
Her eyes were full of lusty request to hold him
but at last she said bye and good night to him.
He returned to him dome but her eyes
followed him and that night she could not sleep.
Stars were shining in the sky and they were
separate to their home and kept asleep. 55
Once they went to London where
the beautiful Themes river flow.
It was a literary and art festival there and
where on every face, there was a glow.
The city was full of light and sound,
so energetic and colorful the life was there.
They wandered in abandoned streets,
keeping hand in hand with each-other here.
The time was so precious and full of
romance in that literary conference.
Nobody knew them there and so they
were free of any fear and hinderance.
In the returning way they got seat close
with each - other on the side of a window.
Only they both and journey of night!
keeping hand in hand watching out of the window.
They felt the time should stop and
the journey must be long in eternal.
Again stars were shining out and passing
trees, bridges, buildings, and every external.
She put her head on his soldier and slept,
heedless leaving herself in his care.
He looked her sleeping, feeling pleasure,
kissing her very gently and kept care.
They reached their own town,
early in the hours, it was dawn now.
Now both had to depart and they thought,
why this time passed soon and how. 62
She was so eager to see him again and again
that once while returning from a marriage,
She became intentionally late for her house
outskirt of the town, and knocked at his garrage.
He was astonished to see her there that time,
but was very happy for her to welcome.
She willingly went into his arms without being
late and he forgot saying her to come.
After telling a short about her being late,
they both went into the bed to sleep.
Once they started talking, time stopped
and not they needed outside to peep.
She stayed there whole the night,
they slept bared beside each-other.
They did what it is called love-making,
enjoyed freedom, satisfied each-other.
Very early in the morning they got - up
and hastily became ready to leave.
After taking tea, she looked in his eyes
and made herself ready to go, to leave.
Only some birds were making
a sound of chirping in a little sun light.
Both walked silently and moved for her house,
between dark and light, there was a fight.
He stayed a little away from her house
and said a sweet good-bye to her.
She also was in love never to leave
but there was no other way for her.
The life was so beautiful for them,
the time was like a halted wave.
Off and on there were some problems,
but not so big to care and up to gave.
He had listened so many stories about
her within this period by many other.
But he never believe on those stories
and they kept on loving each-other.
Whenever he went to her house,
he was welcomed and kept no harms.
Mostly she was being alone at that time
and free to get in each-other's arm.
She was so full of lust that he
could not keep controlled to himself.
Her breasts were always inviting and
always she kept on smiling herself.
Once she came to him late in an evening
again shining and fully ornamented.
He was aghast to see the weapons of her
beauty, and she left him helpless, tormented.
That night they made a special celebration,
loved each-other, whole the night fully bared.
He kissed her everywhere and she too
left him nowhere wholly to be pleasured.
After this tremendious love making,
and little rest, they became ready to depart.
It was dark night when he went with her
from a round, across the railway to be apart. 76
But time never remains same and one day
he was married another, leaving her alone.
There were some bondage of society on both,
and another hundreds had to be gone.
Both tried to delay this, but not succeeded
and could not dared to fight out.
For some time it was a pause here
in this story and the narration kept out.
They consoled themselves to live, but
he became engaged in his new life.
She was also looking her responsibility
and he was caring his new wife.
So many things happened during this,
but as it is told, lives never stop.
She was angry and disappointed
but never without a new scop.
Now a new phase of story began,
she was scolding him now and then.
But he was so attracted to her that
he kept on going to her again and again.
And they didn't stopped making love
to each other even after this.
Whenever they got chance they did it,
and lot of things happened during this.
Then a new man came in her life,
he was a kind of touring teacher.
She slowly engaged with him and
tried to find a permanent shelter. 83
He was an opportunist and he used her,
he took her on tour and there get enjoyed.
There she used to stay in inns and hotels,
where she willingly gave herself to be played.
He was a man of business and having
a family and kept her always in a fix.
She was ready to be the second wife,
without any name and without any mix.
She was promised that he would give
a name to their relation but he did not.
She was ready to be used, so she never
thought about this and never demanded the lot.
This didn't go long and suddenly he
stopped visiting her house in the town.
She tried to do so many things as
livelihood but by nothing came down.
But the 'second man' didn't stop her
loving, trying to do many things for her.
But he couldn't succeed in doing so,
he could not do anything special for her.
This time her age was growing and
she was being harsh to him sometime.
Many of the men came in her life
but everybody gave her only lime.
This time she was so depressed when
somebody suggested her to marry.
She was in fear because many men
had rejected her for money and dowry. 90
But after a long discussion, she became
ready to marry a man out of choice.
This man was himself poor and he was
depended and made her life more vice.
She tried hard to bring spring in her
own life but failed to do so anyhow.
This man was hand to mouth and
always searching for job then and now.
He was not handsome also like
others who had come in her past life.
He was a little ugly and dark and
always ready to bark on his wife.
In a short-while, he became ill and
unable to move here and there.
It was a thunder-bolt to her,
now she was very distressed here.
She took him to all possible doctors
and hospitals of charity, far and near.
This time again God didn't favour her
and she lost him at last forever.
During this and before happening of this,
she had already lost her mother.
Even in dream, she didn't think that
it would suddenly happened to her.
A few days later of marrying this
dark man, her mother became ill.
She thought she will be all right,
because usually she was living ill-fill. 97
During this, once the second man,
had visited her to know about her mother.
It was raining, she made him sit out
separately into the room another.
This time they sat for long time,
her hubby was out to work anywhere.
She told her whole the story and he
also loved her two times just there.
But after some time he heard that
her mother was died due to illness.
Her mother was old enough and
she had served her mother selfless.
Many came to console and went
away leaving alone with the man 'dark'.
Life was passing somehow but her
husband's illness brought a mark.
After her husband's death, fore sometime
she became totally alone and sad.
There was no hope of joy to her and
this time the situation was really bad.
She was losing her self confidence
wandering here and there without any aim.
Life was feeling useless to her, and
right or wrong, good or bad all the same.
The second man again tried to help her
but she could not consoled by herself.
Suddenly a new hope came into her life,
in the form of a new youth himself. 104
He was a young man of family also,
working in a government railway sector.
He consoled her and made her to
do something new and of the factor.
She was greatly attracted to him
her life again was shining like spring.
He had brought happiness to her
and gave her sweet of joy of offering.
She now started avoiding the second man
again for this new younger one.
The second man felt very bad but
he couldn't forgot her even.
Now she was a middle aged woman
but still she was fascinating and attractive.
Men loved her for her physical beauty
but the second man for her soul creative.
This younger man started teaching her
a small business of beautiful pottery.
She felt that after learning this art
she would have a grand lottery.
For this he started visiting her house
teaching her how to start her business.
In one of such deserted noon, he came
to see her at home in an easiness.
She was doing some work in her room,
full of pots and soil.
He hold her from back and covered
her breast with his soft palm in toil. 111
She saw him up and was astonished
and he kissed on her back and neck too.
She was intoxicated by his touch and
he now was in the same point too.
In this intoxication, they rubbed each other
and hold one another face to face.
He then removed her clothes one by one
had a deep look on her solid figure's grace.
She also did the same with him and now
the fire was burning on both side there.
They did what usually two lovers do and
she too was feeling the heaven's fever.
She considered it as the golden time
of her life but it was also again a deception.
As usual she was used again and she
consider it as a great redemption.
In this rein, one day noon
she came to the second man's office.
He welcomed her and she reminded him
the old promise to record her story to notice.
She told him everything and also
told how she was still living all alone.
He prayed that she should soon get
a permanent partner of her very tone.
Till now she had wandered too much
and her life was full of mistake.
Some of them were her own and
many of them were forced by fate to make. 118
Nobody exactly know how many
persons had come into her life.
But in this journey there were only two
who actually made her their wife.
The second man was always there
to light the lamp of her life house.
But he himself was not so rich enough
and didn't have many things to lose.
Sometime she understood him and
sometime misunderstood him badly.
He could only pray for her joy and
reached anytime to help her gladly.
Finally she was married to the last man
who was a widower but a good husband.
And it was considered by many that
it was her story's only beautiful end.
He waited her for having a glimpse
but she didn't return to him again.
Memories of the time spent with her
were always put him in a sweet pain.
Though he knew that there was nothing
to gain by all this mental exercise.
But it was not in his own control to
wrest out the memories strong echo-voice.
He looked her standing on the door,
coming to him from the front.
With her irresistible beauty and lusty
figurative appeal, but there she wasn't.
He had told her once that he would
love her always till the end of life.
Lest in the rough journey of this life
she would be any other's wife.
Age didn't matter to him as his love
was so divine and sinless.
But alas! she was always thought
all this to a nonsense and useless. 127 (end)
Note : Next Part ( Aanand : A Love Traveller! ) will be published soon.
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